Addiction Treatment Center in Islamabad | Willing Ways Islamabad

 

    “If someone slaps you once,
Let them slap you again”

 The above saying was considered an effective technique in old times. People used to let themselves treat in that way. But the fact is that those relationships who were practicing that technique, letting themselves be affected by others, and letting themselves down. They led other people to make themselves worthless, unloved, and invaluable. These types of relationships are these days, considered unhealthy. People who were in this practice and were playing as a victim of it, are called Codependent. Codependency is a form of love, a love in which a person suffers more and compromises his/her self for the sake of the other person. According to experts, this is not a healthy love, they (experts) used to consider as sick love. Because people who practice healthy love are responsible or reason of the development and growth of each other. They do not let compromise each other, they cooperate. They do not require the other person to sacrifice his or her life, needs, urges, desires, and wants for the sake of the other person. A codependent person lets another person’s behavior affect him or her, and is obsessed with controlling the other person’s behavior.

In this article, we will talk about Codependency. We will use the term ‘they’ for codependent (the person who practices unhealthy love or codependency). Codependency is a syndrome (a group of symptoms) in which a person relies on or is dependent psychologically, emotionally, or physically on a specific person who needs help or support. They spend the whole of their time helping or supporting the person on whom they are dependent.  They rely on the other person for their survival. They get disturbed or uncomfortable when that person is absent from their vision. They keep them protected from any kind of harm, difficulty, and upcoming crises. They fulfill their responsibilities. They keep control over that person’s behavior to protect and support them. While controlling that person, they even sometimes get angry or emotionally reactive which usually ends in face of provoking. They mostly provoke that person by saying harsh and abusive words, and sarcastic and taunting sentences. But doing this does not make them comfortable, they most of the time appear in face of an enabler. They help that person to make his or her life, surrounding, or environment smooth and easy, but, the person they are dependent on, does not deserve their help and support, their help brings defects in the person’s life and make him or her more dependent on them. But it has been witnessed that helping that person or enabling them makes a codependent comfortable.

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The codependent person lets the other person abuse and torture them emotionally, psychologically, and physically. They figure out themselves as the most grandiose person who can face everything without raising their voices. They find it bad to love themself, self-love is a sin for them and an action that can make them self-centered is negative. They let the other person use them anyway for the sake of their benefit. A codependent person becomes an addict to the person he or she depended on. They can’t get satisfied without pleasing the other person. It is just like people with addiction who can’t live without the drug or object they are addicted to, codependent people also have an addiction to a person in other words we can say they are in relationship addiction. 

Codependency is a syndrome that contains characteristics of sick love. It usually produces negative effects on relationships as it is considered a relationship addiction. But when it comes to an addiction of an addicted person, it becomes more dangerous and produces more harm in both the individuals' life (the addicted and the codependent). If we take a drug addict under discussion, it must be said that their addiction can never progress unless they have a codependent in their surroundings. A Codependent is a person in an addict’s surroundings who use to carry all the burdens, fulfill all the responsibilities, protect t him from all damages and hazards, and enable them. Without a codependent, it becomes impossible to keep drinking or drugging continue. It has been witnessed that a codependent person does not let the addict know or realize the consequences of his or her drugging or drinking due to which it becomes impossible for an addict to get his or herself detached from drug or alcohol. There are a lot of addicts who could not get recovered because they had codependent individuals in their surroundings. If you want your loved one get recovered from addiction, so you will have to change your love patterns because your loved one can never get out of addiction unless you stop yourself from being in an addicted relationship. So it is never late to change your behaviors and love patterns for the sake of the person you love on this planet. Sadaqat clinic and its team can help you out in learning how you can love your loved one healthily by applying the rules of TOUGH LOVE.

 

Writer:

Misbah Mehboob

Psychologist

Sadaqat Clinic